Edition #69: Weaving Webs and Turning Over Stones
I’ve spent several hours struggling with this newsletter. For some reason it’s just not coming. I’ve erased, rewritten, cut and pasted. I feel angry, rebellious, and at the point of tears. I’m not sure what’s going on, but everything in me is resisting all the expectations and plans I had for myself this afternoon, including writing this.
There was a time I would have whipped myself through it, but I have neither the energy nor desire to treat myself that way. I’m not a robot. Even my spectacular self-discipline and desire for consistency fail now and then.
Part of why I’m on Substack is to build a more direct relationship with my readers and other writers. This is not social media. I don’t have to put up a front. I don’t want to write if it’s not from the heart. Readers deserve better than that and so do I.
So, for today, there is no newsletter. Just the next few pages of The Hanged Man. I’m taking myself off the hook! Clearly, I need to take some time and figure out what happened today. Or what didn’t happen. Or something.
Thank you for the comment, Ami. I'm glad you found me on Substack! It's been a strange time. My mother is in memory care & hospice out in Colorado and managing her situation from where I live in Maine has stirred up all the mud at the bottom of my personal pond. It's icky & sticky & I'm suddenly asking myself a lot of new questions about how I'm spending my life. What are the juicy parts that bring joy & where are the parts that feel like pressure & are not so joyful? So I'm simplifying until things become clearer & I understand better how I want to spend my time & energy. The story writing is pure pleasure. The rest, not so much ...
I agree about how important it is to be real. One of the things I love about Substack is how genuine writers are about their process & their struggles. We all inspire each other. I'm glad you're here. Post!
Thank you for your honesty, Jennifer! I think it's just important to share when we as authors hit a wall. I'm near to your Substack and am still exploring, but so far I'm enjoying what I'm finding. It inspires me to start posting. I love that you are using this as a platform for connection. I'm excited to see what the next season brings for you. But for now, relax, take a pause and take care of you.