Creating The Webbd Wheel: Community
In which we risk being seen ...
Human beings are social animals. The pandemic underlined this fact, highlighting how poorly we cope in isolation.
I know myself to be an introvert, and for most of my life I’ve deliberately stayed distanced from emotionally intimate relationships. This is easy to do if one is empathic and genuinely caring of others. The world is filled with lonely people who do not feel seen or heard and are hungry for someone to talk to, someone from whom to receive attention and support.
In caring for others, I am able to avoid revealing myself.
People who have attachment disorders or have endured traumatic childhoods often choose loneliness over risking close healthy relationships. Loneliness feels safer, though research (and recent experience) shows we need other people.
For people like me, this is a difficult reality. We can face our fear of trusting anyone and exposing our vulnerabilities or we can cut ourselves off from humanity, withdraw, and allow the crust of years and solitude to settle upon us.
Introverts and extroverts alike, if we are to function well in life, must figure out a balance of social and alone time that works for us. If we are too fearful to spend meaningful time with others or too fearful to be alone, we can’t make healthy choices in managing that balance.
Many people fill their social needs with communities centered around religion or some kind of spiritual path. Various therapy, self-help, and recovering addiction groups provide community. We form groups for the purpose of engaging in sports or games. We join specialized clubs or groups engaged with a hobby or activity. Social media is filled with groups with similar interests. If we are lucky, our workplace can provide us with community, as it does for me.
In post #46 of The Hanged Man, a group of people comes together for the purpose of initiation into their full power. Some of them know one another already, and some are strangers. I deliberately chose a group context because it’s such a powerful crucible. Community is like a classroom; we cannot avoid the clash of personalities and differing viewpoints. We watch others at work and play and learn from them. The weaknesses and strengths of those around us crash into our weaknesses and strengths. Our thoughts and beliefs are challenged. We discover things about ourselves through the eyes of others. We gain perspective as we share; everyone has secrets, everyone protects their wounds and scars. We learn, paradoxically, we are not the center of the world, and we are at the same time essential in a healthy community.
We begin to understand connection.
In this post and for several following posts, we will follow each character on his or her path through initiation. Secrets are revealed. New connections are made, and at least one is broken. The characters find lost or discarded pieces of themselves and make choices about their future. It all happens publicly in the context of a community that bears witness, supports, challenges, and forces the characters to go into private depths they would much prefer to avoid and keep hidden.
(This essay was published with post #46 of The Hanged Man.)