Collaboration

(Originally published on Harvesting Stones.)

Recently a Substacker I follow, Candace Rose Rardon , illustrated a memory I shared with her. I was absolutely thrilled. The union of my words and her art spoke to one of my core values: collaboration.

Collaboration is about power management. It’s defined as working with someone. Not directing them. Not submitting to them. Working with them. In other words, sharing power – power-with rather than power-over.

Image by Bob Dmyt from Pixabay[

Is it just me, or are we as a culture moving away from sharing power rather than toward it?

Collaboration and cooperation lie at the heart of my fiction. All my life I’ve been preoccupied with working together, but I never had adequate language or studied power until I learned emotional intelligence. At that point the light dawned. I reviewed my relationships, both family and otherwise, through the lens of power.

It was a grim review. I set out to reclaim my power.

Let’s be clear: reclamation is not stealing.

I didn’t want to take power away from others. I wanted to reclaim what had been taken from me.

This involved needs, boundary work, and many other moving parts, most of which I’ve written about on my blog over the last seven years (almost exactly seven years … wow), and all of which are woven into my books.

Speaking of my books, I have a dream that one day a visual artist will read my work, become inspired, and want to illustrate it. That’s not all. (Might as well dream big, right?) In the same dream a musician (drums and flute or pipe, at least) reads my work, becomes inspired, and adds music and a soundscape to it. I even dream one day we’ll develop the ability to incorporate scent into reading.

I am a sensual person, and my writing reflects that. I myself see my characters and my world of Webbd vividly, but I’m not an artist. I respond deeply to music physically and emotionally, but I’m not a musician.

In every relationship I’ve sought collaboration. I’ve wanted a safe place to have an authentic voice, express an opinion, make a contribution. I’ve wanted the power to make choices. This has been true in the context of family, friends, spouses and boyfriends, coworkers, and community.

I have not been noticeably successful until the last ten years.

No matter how talented, strong, or knowledgeable we are, healthy collaboration can only make us bigger. Collaboration is tricky, though. It’s messy. It doesn’t mean total agreement. We’re forced to deal with conflict, with different visions and voices than our own, different backgrounds, different belief systems, different ways of looking at the world and interacting with life. It’s work. It stretches us uncomfortably. We might have to be wrong. We might have to step out of our comfort zone. We might be uncomfortable. We might get negative feedback.

We cannot collaborate while insisting on staying safely in our own bubble.

Plenty of people say they want to collaborate when their true intention is a hostile takeover. Others seek collaboration as a way to make money or leverage other aspects of social power. Their agenda is to accrue power, not share it.

What Candace Rose Rardon did was extend a gift of generosity. When I sent her my memory I had no power over whether she chose to illustrate it or how she would illustrate it. I handed her my words and went on with life. I had no expectations. She sent back something beautiful woven of my words and her art. I’ve never met her. We exchanged no money. I know very little about her, but I do know this: she’s part of my tribe. She’s a creative collaborator.

Collaboration requires a willingness to be flexible as well as to accept someone’s vision regarding our art. As creators, we need to loosen our grip on our masterpieces and allow others to widen us. Perhaps someone else visualizes our character slightly differently than we do. Perhaps they see the character more clearly, or more fully than we can. As collaborators, we may be pushed to do more than we’ve done before, take new risks, try new things. Healthy collaboration makes us all more powerful, more expansive, more interesting, more textured.

We are stronger and more beautiful together than we are apart.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

Collaboration is everywhere. It’s the falling rain and early birdsong on a spring morning. It’s the calling of shorebirds against the background of surf. It’s the buzzing of a fat bumblebee in a fragrant blossom. The world is unbelievably sensual. Walking through tall grass this time of year, the stems and heads turning straw-colored, the small scratching prick of grasshopper legs on my bare skin, the scent of warm grass in my nostrils, is a miracle of collaboration. A garden exists because of collaboration between countless forms of life, the weather, the sun’s energy, and soil.

We can’t collaborate in every situation all the time. Leaders lead. Parents parent. Bosses must manage their people, teachers their students. We all have areas in our lives we like to manage solo, including areas in our creative lives. On the other hand, we are seeing the consequences of no collaboration: chaos, fear, hatred, division, destruction, and social breakdown. We are now successfully being manipulated into choosing not to collaborate even with ourselves, but with consumerism, capitalism, and ideology instead.

One of the things I love and value about Substack is how diverse and collaborative it is. We are provided with many ways to connect and support one another. Even an introvert like me can connect. The community is friendly and generous. We have an opportunity to explore new material and interact with all kinds of content creators. Every day I learn something new, am inspired and delighted. ( S.E. Reid, rustworks , From Pages to Portals , Buck Weiss ,The Scribbler , Alexander M Crow ) I’m constantly discovering new people. Even if I don’t read everything or become a subscriber to every newsletter (and who could?), I appreciate the vibrancy of this community. I’m glad we’re all here. I’m glad we have a chance to find one another.

Collaboration is wide. It’s not only about human-to-human interaction. If we don’t figure out how to collaborate with our planet, with the human and non-human life around us, and (perhaps most importantly) with ourselves, we will not thrive. We'll solve no problems. Nothing will change. We'll meet challenges as individuals and as communities and countries poorly. We’ll keep ourselves small, disorganized, and weak.

Or we can choose to combine our knowledge, our skills, our vision, and our humanity. That’s my choice. That’s why, in spite of a lifetime of feeling an outcast, I know I belong here.